Catechism of Cliché (5) – Human Resources

What are people?

– human resources
What do we do with resources?
– manage them
Into what subdivisions do these resources fall?
– leaders and headcount
What is the name for a member of headcount who is destined to become a leader?
– talent
Through what tubular thoroughfare will he or she make the journey?
– the talent pipeline
What is the singular of headcount?
– an FTE
What do we do with FTEs?
– reduce them
How do we do this?
– by achieving synergies
Pardon?  How do we do this?
– by focusing on what is essential.
And then, having focused on this?
– reducing headcount
What are assets?
– what we own and value
What kind of business are we?
– a people business
 as a doctor (19th century)
What is our most valuable asset?
– our people
What are people?
– human resources
… repeat until shown the door.
(The catechism of cliche was the idea of Flann O’Brien)

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