as a doctor (19th century)

    Catechism of Cliché (5) – Human Resources

    What are people?

    – human resources
    What do we do with resources?
    – manage them
    Into what subdivisions do these resources fall?
    – leaders and headcount
    What is the name for a member of headcount who is destined to become a leader?
    – talent
    Through what tubular thoroughfare will he or she make the journey?
    – the talent pipeline
    What is the singular of headcount?
    – an FTE
    What do we do with FTEs?
    – reduce them
    How do we do this?
    – by achieving synergies
    Pardon?  How do we do this?
    – by focusing on what is essential.
    And then, having focused on this?
    – reducing headcount
    What are assets?
    – what we own and value
    What kind of business are we?
    – a people business
     as a doctor (19th century)
    What is our most valuable asset?
    – our people
    What are people?
    – human resources
    … repeat until shown the door.
    (The catechism of cliche was the idea of Flann O’Brien)